Mad Skills

Jock was cleaning the cutlery, carefully washing the butcher knives. It was not his fault. It never was.

“Cut the meat across the grain,” he’d told her. The bitch didn’t listen. He hated having to train new kitchen help. Sure, they’d all been to cooking school. Some of them had been to the best schools in the country: Johnson & Wales, or the Culinary Fucking Institute for Christ-sake!

They still didn’t know a goddamn thing about food preparation, he reflected sadly as he finished rinsing and wiping down ย the bone-saw.

And did they ever listen to the top chef? Hell, no! Yet their incompetence served a purpose they would never fully appreciate.

His restaurant had a five-fucking-star rating with the local paper’s food critic for three years running.ย His meat slicing skills were top notch. ย And his highly talented methods of preparing steak were well known far and wide, making his restaurant the most popular steak joint in the city.

He’d lost count of the number of times people complimented him on his meat dishes, which they said were so different than anything they’d ever tasted before.

Jock walked over and closed the meat locker door, smiling to himself.

As he left the restaurant, he placed the cardboard “Help Wanted” sign back in the window.

He hoped tomorrow would bring yet another prime applicant for the job.


24 responses to “Mad Skills

  1. Ooooh, a pun ending. I like it! Welcome to Friday Flash!

  2. Remind me not to eat at this steakhouse! Great first #fridayflash! Don’t forget to enter it in the #fridayflash collected at the Mad Utopia site: Hope you and yours had a Happy Thanksgiving.

  3. At least he keeps his costs down, eh? Pun endings ftw! Welcome to #FridayFlash, glad you could join us.

    Take care,

  4. This reminds me of a chef I used to work for…I always wondered what his secret was. Welcome to FridayFlash!

  5. Ack, thank goodness I don’t eat meat anymore!

    Like the others, really like the “prime” pun!

    Welcome to the #fridayflash community. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. This has the underlying creepiness I really appreciate. Tense, taut and so much said in so few words.
    Welcome to the #fridayflashers.

  7. Fantastic debut! Great detail in this and, dare I say – fun – ending.

    Welcome to #fridayflash!

  8. Thank you all for a wonderful welcome to #fridayflash and for your great comments. I’m happy that my serial killer chef story went over so well. I had another story for my first #fridayflash but it wasn’t finished, so I went with this one instead.

  9. Great pun ending! I’m so glad I don’t eat meat after reading that. Bleugh!!

    Welcome to #fridayflash!

  10. Always with the cannibals. For once I’d like to find a decent employer who was interested in something other than my body.

  11. Punny ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Glad I don’t eat steak ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Rebecca–
    Thanks for reading my story & leaving a comment. I almost left off “prime” at the end. I don’t really like to employ the use of puns too heavily as it sometimes comes off sounding cheezy. I’m glad I left it in now and that it seems to have paid off. Writing is a gamble and sometimes we have to take risks, right?

    I know, man! Thanks for the comment!

    Thanks for reading and commenting! I love steak, but not at this restaurant.

  13. Welcome to Friday Flash! An excellent and creepy debut. ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Having managed a restaurant I understand the annoyance of the MC. Good help is hard to find, to bad for them their lack of skills found them being served as the perfect main course. I really like this twist on a serial killer being a chef, not some demented lunatic one would expect. I wonder what would happen if he found someone with knife skills…would then they become a duo serial killers?

  15. Love it, I really like this kind of suggestively grisly story.
    Welcome to #Fridayflash.

  16. Great debut – love that you didnt actually give it away, but its the reader who deides really where this goes. Nice imagery too. Welcome aboard the #fridayflash crew – its an amazing bunch.

  17. Welcome to the community. Great introduction. Nice and creepy and a clever ending. Might even make me a vegetarian after all.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  18. That’s enough to turn me vegetarian. Or maybe I’ll just stick with fish. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Welcome to #FridayFlash.

  19. Fabulous, strong #fridayflash debut. Really nice writing. Welcome aboard!

  20. Wonderfully creepy ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. Welcome to the friday flash roundtable, Ramsey. Nice to have started out with such a choice, prime little slice of weirdness. Sharply told. Bloody fun. Chewy and meaty too. Not to mention tasty.

  22. Vegetarians everywhere will feel vincidated…nice work!

  23. To everyone who commented: Whew! I’m so relieved that everyone liked my story. I guess I’ll do this #fridayflash stuff again!

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